NEW RETIREMENT PLAN: 401Keg

I’m outta pocket, you betcha, and using (shudder) MSIE on a PC in the dark while everybody else is still asleep. Sorry, this came in an email from somebody–maybe Joe Sixpack–and I thought you might want to invest. Bottoms up! 

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you  would have $49.00 left.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would  have $214.00 cash.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and  recycle. It’s called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year.  Another study  found Americans drink, on the average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Makes You Proud To Be An American!


About fred

Fred First holds masters degrees in Vertebrate Zoology and physical therapy, and has been a biology teacher and physical therapist by profession. He moved to southwest Virginia in 1975 and to Floyd County in 1997. He maintains a daily photo-blog, broadcasts essays on the Roanoke NPR station, and contributes regular columns for the Floyd Press and Roanoke's Star Sentinel. His two non-fiction books, Slow Road Home and his recent What We Hold in Our Hands, celebrate the riches that we possess in our families and communities, our natural bounty, social capital and Appalachian cultures old and new. He has served on the Jacksonville Center Board of Directors and is newly active in the Sustain Floyd organization. He lives in northeastern Floyd County on the headwaters of the Roanoke River.

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