Fragments From Floyd

My day job: After one week, I guess it's going fairly well, as these things go. I am remembering both why I was glad I left healthcare and why I missed it. I am remembering the contrast between a work-mind that must be totally consumed with logistical, technical, objective focus on the moment and the home-mind that can wander in the soft, fuzzy corners of personal subjectivity and fancy. I suppose we wouldn't know light if there was no darkness--not to say that the work is wretched and without bright spots. I think in time I will feel very at home in the physical space with the staff who are coming now to have names. I'm not sure I will ever make peace with the sad fact that in these times, a therapist spends almost as much energy focused on papers, policies and procedures to appease the insurers as he does thinking as he should about the patient he is with.

I have my first new evaluations today--the first patients I didn't inherit from someone else's plan of care. When I take in new patients who are 'mine' from start to finish, that fresh start helps me feel grounded in the new setting. It takes time. I'm happy for the chance to be there and hope I will find that balance I am looking for between leaving home and being here, between thinking critically and daydreams.

But I am encouraged for the most part that I will be able to find that the right mix between doing enough in my word and picture projects at home and being stimulated, challenged and paid outside it. So far, I've done a good job (he says, reaching behind him with great scapulothoracic flexibility for a pat on the back) in staying focused on my goals. I do need some help, advice and of course, encouragement. So I'll be telling you more about how things are going on the book and other endeavors in the weeks ahead.