Traveling with Trash
This is only a hypothetical scenario mind you:
You have rushed out of the house at 7:00, bound for the airport just ahead of an expected ice storm. In your amazing attention to last-minute details, you've remembered to pick up the large white trashbag of acccumulated flotsam that need not stay indoors decomposing while your gone. There is a turkey carcass and lots of coffee grounds amongst the paper trash, and you will toss it in the greenboxes on Allegheny Spring Road as you drive north toward Roanoke and that will be that.
But fifteen minutes later and well beyond the only dumpsters that you know of for thirty miles, you realize you still have the trash riding with you, back among your suitcases. In a mood of adrenalin-enhanced optimism, you are sure you will find more public dumpsters that you've just never noticed before (even though you've driven this road hundreds of times in the daylight.) At about this time, you are starting to become very aware of the aroma of rancid turkey bones and stale Lusianne with chickory and you crack the windows a bit, letting in the freezing moist air that soon will be full of icy drops.
It is about now that you realize the conundrum and begin to examine your options.
You have nowhere to put this garbage and you are leaving on a jet plane. You can [1] toss the bag out the window (a) in toto, or (b) one piece at a time, a toilet paper roll here, a turkey wishbone there, a shredded credit card offer farther along a five mile stretch so as to be more difficult to trace back to your address. [2] You can affect a casual you-lookin-at-somethin attitude at baggage check and have them take it from you, then leave it on the carosel in St. Louis. Or [3] you can find a deserted carwash in Shawsville where there is a tiny trashcan beside the highpower vacs, drop your bulging white trashbag on top so it looks like a fat lady in a white dress sitting on a barstool, and speed away into the night hoping whoever is responsible for emptying the trash isn't upset by the fact that this particular trash did not come from the floorboard of somebody's car. But then again, maybe it did.
We are still wondering when or if we'll be getting a summons for our crime. But hey, what would you have done?
Comments
I think I would have found any trash can possible, like in front of a grocery store (they have those here) or the carwash trash would work. As long as you put it in a trash bin then that should be fine!
Posted by: Rachel | December 22, 2005 9:58 AM
It's hypothtical, right? Find a hypothetical dumpster.
Posted by: Dave | December 22, 2005 10:28 AM
We should hope that there is no identifying flotsam and jetsam in the bag.....LOL.
That Abby is one pretty child, and it is good that she takes her duties so seriously!
Posted by: kenju | December 22, 2005 10:53 AM
Ha! This SO sounds like something I would do. Carwash trash would do quite nicely as a solution, I think.
Posted by: Rurality | December 22, 2005 3:36 PM
I would have checked it (the airline people would have put it into a box) and then not claimed the bag in STL.
Posted by: Cop Car | December 22, 2005 7:56 PM
This is probably how bird flu got started -- a couple of scafflows dumped an infected Thanksgiving turkey carcass in someone else's trash.
Posted by: Doug Thompson | December 23, 2005 7:27 AM