He Can Have the Berries
There is a sense of feeling violated when you walk up a steep trail on your own land, only to find you are not the first to go up there after the blackberries. Several days ago, we discovered that many of the canes had been pushed down and almost every little nook where there would have been berries had been explored. There was no doubt about it: we were not the first to the wild fruit. We were outraged, and Ann, a little unsettled by the fact we had a trespasser so close to the house.
I joked with Ann that I would put a posted sign up near the top of the trail--so that the next time our intruder came, it would only be after he made the hot, sweaty climb to the very top. Then he would see we were on to his trespass. The sign would read:
THIS LAND IS MY LAND, THIS LAND IS MY LAND. GO AWAY.-- Woody Guthrie
And yet, the way the vines were beat back made no sense. Also, many of the higher berries--taller than my head, but certainly within reach of the average berry picker--were fat and juicy, unpicked. I wondered aloud if it could have been a bear, this being a small comfort to wifey, who just this week received her order for Counter Assault Bear Spray. This is a mace-like spray, only it is the proportions of a small fire extinguisher; she'll need a backpack to carry it, I told her, dismissing her concerns but yielding to her enhanced feeling of security with it on hand while I'm away. Silly woman, I thought. Now, I think not.
I could see Tsuga rise on alert from his torpor in the hot shade outside the window yesterday. Something had captured his attention, but then, it was probably just a groundhog; maybe a deer; maybe only his over-active canine imagination. He lay back down briefly, but was up again, his nose sniffing in the air, back and forth, picking up traces of something only dog noses can smell. And then suddenly, he barked his alarm bark and disappeared toward the road. I got up from my chair just in time to see him disappear from the side of the house, headed for the pasture.
I ran to the front porch, remembering at that moment that I was clad only in Joe Boxers, as Tsuga reached the road. From the foot bridge I had a clear view of the pasture just as Tsuga dipped into the notch of the creek and rose up the opposite bank, with his aim set far down the valley. He stood hesitantly on the far bank as I scanned the valley for deer. And as I saw what Tsuga had seen, he broke into a full run to intercept a massive, full grown jet-black bear that by then was lumbering in characteristic inchworm fashion, across the pasture, left to right. In the next instant, the dog was in full pursuit as I screamed his name, to absolutely no avail--helpless, shoeless, and in my underwear.
The bear in full sideview made for the shade of the west side of the valley where we take our daily walks, while I watched the dog's south end grow smaller and smaller into the distance, as I hollered another time or two before giving up. I ran inside thinking Oh Crap Oh Crap, jumped into my rubber boots, grabbed the .22 where it sat by the front door (in case of crows or rabbits in the garden). When I reached the road, I was relieved to see that the dog had stopped two thirds of the way down the field, about where I'd last seen the bear disappearing into the shadows.
But Tsuga was still agitated and I didn't know whether my presence would deter him from going after the bear or encourage him. He looked at the woods, he looked at me, back and forth several times, as excited as he was indecisive. What else could I do?--I fired a shot into the creek bank.
Miraculously, this was all it took to make the dog trust his instincts that told him THREAT! GO HOME NOW! The unfamiliar gunshot tipped the scale away from fight and toward flight. And he ran the length of the field, down into the creek, tongue hanging, and up to the back porch, almost as happy to be home as I was to have him here, with no sign he'd tangled with a bear three times his size at least.
We've dismissed Tsuga's sudden spells of spookiness on the trail over the past month, mostly, although that is one reason for Ann's mounting uneasiness that lead to the purchase of the jumbo cannister of bear spray. Turns out, his nose knows. Turns out, I might as well save my witty Woody Guthrie tribute. It may be that black bears will do what black bears most certainly do in the woods. They may leave signs. But they aren't likely to read one.
Comments
“…helpless, shoeless, and in my underwear.”
The picture that springs to mind may have a certain comic side (sorry, but I wont be held responsible for the products of my imagination!), but I’ll bet it felt more like one of those nightmares that finds you impotent against some impending catastrophe.
First Doug with his water moccasin, bobcat, and coyote, now you with a bear. The tapestry of Floyd gets a few more stitches woven in an altogether more primitive shade of yarn. I was about to say that the nearest thing we get to wildlife around these parts are the frogs in the pond, but we do get the occasional fox. On balance I guess I’m comfortable to settle for that level of excitement outside the back door. Take care, you guys.
Posted by: andy | July 27, 2005 6:06 AM
my first though was, 'oh, my goodness,' but then i thought: maybe yankees don't like bears. so maybe it's a good thing.
jason sees crocodiles in the swamp on a regular basis. we like them there because the fact that it is known they are there keeps the illegal hunting & the 4-wheelers somewhat at bay. to me they look like cartoon characters with their silly eyes on top of their heads, and they tend to stay in predictable areas we learn to avoid. after the initial shock wore off, mightn't you have had the funny sense that elmer fudd might come out of the bushes, whistling a tune with his trusty shotgun over his shoulder?
Posted by: susannah eanes | July 27, 2005 6:54 AM
Thank goodness you were able to get Tsunga back to the house without harm. We've had a neighborhood dalmation torn up twice: Once by an encounter with bobcats and a second time by a run-in with coyotes.
Floyd's animal countrol office told the board of supervisors recently they are getting an increasing number of calls about bears. Usually, this is handled by the game warden but the county has been without one since John Hall retired. At least DGIF admits bears do exist in Floyd County (along with coyotes and bobcats).
Let's hope Tsunga doesn't spy a bear cub and go after it. That will bring mamma out of the woods in full attack mode.
Let's be careful out there.
Posted by: Doug Thompson | July 27, 2005 7:11 AM
Up here in NH we have black bears. I've had them on my porch ( I left a few chocolate cake crumbs), in my garbage, and one was eating from my bird feeder while lying down shaking it into its mouth. We're told yearly by Fish and Game when to take down our bird feeders. They tore apart our garbage bin like taking apart a cardboard box. People have reported them coming into houses and tearing open refridgerators. Oh yes, and clean your grill or take it in after using it.
This year has been fairly bearless though I saw a small one crossing the road. But some years we have been awakened by the sound of something large crashing through the trash. Olof once grabbed the gun and ran out stark naked while a huge male was tearing apart our trash. He fired one shot in the air and the bear stopped briefly and looked at him. Olof realized he was standing there, a few feet from the bear, naked and had to re-load. He said "enjoy your dinner" and backed off inside.
There's a small book avaiable on black bears. You might want to get it. And be careful with your dog. Once a bear has found a food source you are on his shopping list until he has gone there a few times and found nothing. I'm careful with what I throw on the compost and hope our local bears just head on down to the great pickings at the campground across the river. They like junk food.
We don't keep our garbge out in a bin anymore.
Posted by: zuleme | July 27, 2005 7:53 AM
Ann asks "How do they go about catching a bear?" And of course the answer is:
Bait bear with a honey pot.
Bear gets honey pot stuck on his nose, as we all know.
With honey pot on nose, bear is easy to apprehend and transport out of Hundred Acre Woods.
Posted by: fred1st | July 27, 2005 8:15 AM
I believe you catch a bear the same way you catch any animal that threatens the security of your home -- in the sights of a .44 magnum Henry Repeating Rifle.
However, one should be careful before shooting bears with honey pots on their noses. Might piss off the bees.
Posted by: Doug Thompson | July 27, 2005 8:21 AM
Well told tale.
Thanks for making my morning coffee.
Take Care
Michael
Posted by: Blogin Idiot | July 27, 2005 8:51 AM
Lucky you to have bears. We have Republicans.
Posted by: Reno | July 27, 2005 9:18 AM
Fred, I kept waiting for you to trot out that old chestnut:
"Yesterday I spotted a bear wearing my boxers."
"How'd the bear get into your boxers?"
I *always* use this older-than-the-hills joke in my grammar classes: it's a perfect example of a dangling participle. (You can provide your own preferred joke about Boxers and Dangling Participles.) :-)
Posted by: Lorianne | July 27, 2005 9:50 AM
My father tells me that there wasn't a lot of game/wildlife around Floyd when he was growing up because of extensive hunting. However, times are changing where you can now see wild turkeys, too many deer, bear, etc. regularly. I think this is great in a world where hardly anything is allowed to compete with humans. You may be interested in reading "Bear Attacks: Their Causes and Avoidances" by Stephen Herrero for entertainment and knowledge. Black bear attacks on humans are extremely rare, but dogs frequently force a confrontation and come out the loser unless they are trained Karelian bear dogs.
Posted by: Jim | July 27, 2005 10:12 AM
Wow! What a story. Adventure, danger, and humor, all in one.
Posted by: Jane | July 27, 2005 11:12 AM
great story, one more thing to look out for!
Posted by: cindy lee | July 27, 2005 11:51 AM
What a great story!! Glad it turned out okay!! I was picturing it in my mind as I was reading!! Beware of the bears!
Posted by: Rachel | July 27, 2005 8:12 PM
Enjoyed reading your bear story. Our cousins over in Nelson County were wondering what happened to their berries. I'll pass along your adventure.
Jane in Amherst,VA
Posted by: Jane | July 27, 2005 9:35 PM
More & more wild animals are being displaced due to the construction of new housing & retail strip malls........Plant enginering in my hospital issued a bulletin on Tuesday that an apparently wounded coyote was seen on the hospital grounds & warned everyone to steer clear of it if seen..........The Humane Society & local police are involved in searching for the animasl - so far it has not been seen since Tuesday.....
Posted by: Dottie | July 27, 2005 9:45 PM
OH my goodness! That's something I definitely won't run into here in the "wilds of Africa"!
Posted by: Michelle | July 28, 2005 4:46 AM
We lived on a farm in Canada for years. It was in the almost wilderness area, north of Fredericton, NB. We only had fences on the front of the farm because the cattle were uninterested in going into the deep woods.
We kept some cattle on relatively remote fields where I would often drive with a pickup truck and a pail of grain to call them and make certain everything was okay. They would come running up to the truck, eat their grain, and resume grazing.
Our cattle were black and red Angus. One day I pulled into a field and called the cattle. They came running, but as they neared the truck they didn't slow down. I happened to notice that what I had assumed was a big calf in the distance was actually a black bear chasing the herd. I got in the truck and went after the bear. I wasn't surprised that even at 30 mph bouncing over a field, I could not catch him before he hit the woods.
I called one of the rangers, and they instructed me to shoot the bear on sight the next time I saw it. Fortunately I never saw it again, but once they lose the fear of humans, they're not to trusted at all.
Even in our subdivision on the foothills of Twelve O'Clock Knob in Roanoke County, we have often raced the bears for the blackberries only to find the vines smashed on our second trip. Last year we even had a bear rip off a neighbor"s garage door to get to the food stored in their garage fridge.
I'm glad your adventure tuned out okay.
Posted by: Ocracokewaves | July 28, 2005 7:25 AM
Apparently "bear" is the keyword that prompts large responses, judging by the number of comments. This is my second reply to this story because I forgot to mention another morbid book that deals with bear attacks comically titled, "Death in Yellowstone". This book discusses bear ecounters of the worst kind as well as a myriad of other dangers of wilderness. As horrifying as these stories are, you can't help but be thankful these wild places exist.
Posted by: Jim | July 28, 2005 9:38 AM
Chasin' bars with a 22.... Your right to bear arms may become his right to bare arms...
Posted by: Carl | July 28, 2005 4:27 PM