Fragments From Floyd

I told you that Tsuga has been ravaging the wildlife of late. Somehow, this scenario seemed all too familiar. Searching back first through the archives of memory, and then through the archives of Fragments (which more and more are beginning to be one and the same thing) I retrieved the following story. Methinks we're seeing a repeat of the same shrewd puppy behavior in a lighter shade of Lab.

The Carcass Redemption Program (April 2002)

We need help! As earnest and responsible parents of a three-yr-old black laborador retriever (Buster) we have recently become concerned that we are on our way toward creating a monster! Now, we have made some mistakes in parenting our children, in our utter ignorance as behavior managers. Thank God they have been able to overcome their upbringing and have turned out pretty darned normal. Mostly. The pup, however, has no similar internal gyrocompass, and depends on our reinforcement to mold his little doggie character. And this is our problem.

As the days warm here in early Spring, young Buster is prone to strike out on his own for a half hour or so. We do get a bit concerned about his disappearances, but lately, it is his returning that concerns us. Twice this month, after whistling and calling him for some time, he finally appears, prancing jauntily down the hill or up the road, with 'something' in his mouth. I will not offend your senses with a detailed description of what that 'something' is. Suffice it to say that it is very, very dead and has been so, and at some soil depth, for some time. Needless to say, Buster is reluctant to part with such a prize, and will not. Unless...

Here is where we need your help, as pet psychologists:

The only way we can make the dog relinquish the mummified groundhog spine (oops sorry, I wasnt going to give details) is to offer him a "PUPPY TREAT". He has to spit the 'something' out to get the dry tasteless boneshaped piece of grain-waste. (Again, I confess,I don't understand the canine mind.)

We have this new horror that Buster is coming to see this as a CARCASS REDEMPTION PROGRAM. The boy has caught on: He uses his excellent sense of smell and his few moments of illegal freedom to find dead wildlife, he brings it to the Redemption Center where you can turn in dead-things for something really yummy!

Can you see where this is headed?