Belonging and Identity
After our nest emptied, we moved to Floyd county-- prematurely, perhaps. Many, for good reason, wait until retirement years to withdraw so far from the currents of a busy life. After two years in a little cabin on the Blue Ridge Parkway, we moved within the county to Goose Creek--an out of the way place in a county that has a single traffic light--and became even more isolated. Not that this is not the place of our dreams in many ways, but its remoteness does in fact segregate us geographically and psychologically from the larger world, and even from the small world of our county seat in the town of Floyd.
Everything has not gone exactly according to our ten-year plan conceived in 1997 when we were preparing to leave North Carolina to return to Virginia for good. I took the job that year managing the clinic in the heart of Floyd. One of the highest priorities on our list of things we wanted in our next--and hopefully final--move was to live and work in the same place and to become part of a community; to work with the same people that we would run into in the grocery store and at church and town meetings. After years of cocooned isolation in city lives too busy for many friends or neighborhood interactions, we were ready for involvement in the local culture. Floyd looked like the place where that could happen.
For a year and a half I was the PT Manager in the clinic just across from the Country Store in downtown Floyd. Former patients would stop in and visit on their weekly trips to town. I knew the names of most of the town merchants. A trip to the library was always good for a half-dozen impromptu meetings with familiar faces. Then, Massive HealthCare Inc. closed the clinic in February of 1999--it was the only job in my field in the tiny town.
After that, Ann and I became employment nomads, living in a place you can't get to from anywhere, working up to an hour away with people we never saw except on our jobs. And in May 2002, I relinquished even those contacts from my day. Then the lights of community really went out. But I have the sense that they are blinking back on and this is good, and well timed. Not that the "year unplugged" has been bad by any means.
I have gained a strong sense of belonging here--in this house, in this valley, in this body during my pleasant seclusion. What is lacking is identity--a feeling for where we fit into the larger scheme of human comings and goings--among people who are like us in some ways, different in others. It is hard to know self fully in the absence of seeing one's reflection off one's neighbors, learning in those encounters how to grow and how to teach.
Writing in Fragments and corresponding with reader-friends in the past year has been a rewarding new experience. The interactions with readers have been the nearest thing to community I've known during these cloistered months. But now my center of contact with people outside the cyber-world seems to be shifting back again to our county and the town of Floyd. Maybe we will yet find our place in the community of alter-natives, farmers and merchants that live around us.
Many of these folk have made the same choice as we have to live a bit out of the way, off the grid--and not just the electrical one. They have found interesting ways to create, to make an income and provide some of their own needs while living far from the shopping malls. The interconnectedness and cooperation between all the diverse segments of Floyd's population is growing, and there are good things ahead!
Comments
These topics -- isolation and the internet as a tool to lessen the isolation -- are complicated ones I have been meaning to write about. It sounds like to me you have managed to find a healthy balance.
Posted by: Trey | February 2, 2004 11:36 AM
Wow, this fragment was not posted on the site when I began writing to you this morning. When you read my cut-and pasted note to follow you'll understand why I think this is just a little strange, or serendipitous, or something....
If I had a plain old e-mail address for you that might be a better route to send this message, but this is what's happenen now and I'm gonna go with it:
I composed a nice communication for you last week when I was off from work, either sick or iced in, don't remember which, and FYI I lost it before getting to send it. I lost it because I composed it in your area of the web site where the viewer can make comments and went I went to preview it before actually sending it, it disappeared. Then a message came up about a virus so I'm not sure what happened, however it seemed that if you go to "preview" there is no way to get out of that screen without losing what you are looking at. Maybe it was me, I've only been using computers for a hundred years, probably just can't handle it. Must it really be so iffy? Whether something will work in the computer is still always questionable, not nearly as reliable as phones used to be, TV., etc. I'm so old, I just expect things to work even if I don't understand it or know everything about the piece of equipment. So, anywhooooo, here I go, let me try again.
My husband Adam went to Campbell when you were there. Adam was in the Banjo class; I believe your wife was in his group. Is she practicing? Adam is, to a certain rather mediocre extent. He is hoping to go back in August for the next level class and take me with him. He introduced me to you via your web site which I enjoy tremendously and find it inspirational. Thanx for being there.
Adam become suddenly unemployed about two years before he intended to retire and I hate my job so badly that I have made the FIRM Decision to quit working August 1st of this year. We both had intended to work longer, but we are feeling brave and adventuresome. We are not financially well set up to do this, but what the heck? We are looking for a less expensive, more beautiful, less congested area in which to live in retirement and frankly, I'm excited and haven't felt this way about a plan in many, many years. We would like to be part of a community that cares about itself, if possible, maybe one where there is some respect for the arts in general, or just maybe a good neighbor who knows when to mind our own store. What we want is what you have. Of course, we can't afford it, and your spread looks like too much work for us, but we can only try to find a place that will work for us. We are slightly familiar with the area around Blacksburg and Roanoak and have been researching the Marlinton, Green Bank (which we love), and several other areas in WV and VA including Monterey, Mathias, Hacker Valley (Holly River State Park about 1 hour south of Buchannon), Clover Lick on the Greenbriar, tec. for the past couple years. We drove through Galax last summer and stayed on the PKWY in some cabins without baths near Meadows of Dan (that was and exciting experience for us). We are also investigating the area near the John C. Campbell Folk School for relocating. We have some time this spring to look some more and want to come down around you. It would help tremendously to have some local guidance in regard to what to look for, what to avoid, what creeks always flood, where property values have skyrocketed unreasonably, communities which may not welcome newcomers. We are nature lovers and just want to be in the country with woods, close access to public lands for hiking, bird watching, toe dabbling, fishing, watching the seasons go by. We a looking for an attractive site, the setting must be interesting or beautiful. That is the most important criteria. We are low-land people, not big-view people, although the house we have liked the most so far was one on top of a mountain with a huge view. We like streams, creeks, rocks, trees; don't want to see anything really ugly from the site. We want an already built house but we can build or update a property. I used to restore old buildings for a living. We are creative and imaginative (well, I am) and really have no idea what we will really end up with. We know for sure though, that it must be in a quiet, beautiful place. Cost of living in the area is important too. Four-wheel-drive-access-only may be acceptable, but we are old (early 60s)and don't want to be too remotely located. We haven't found real estate people very responsive or helpful so far and are hoping you might be able to suggest someone??? When we are scouting the territory we would love to come see you if it is convenient. We will probably have to sell our house here in Frederick, MD to do this, but if it should turn out to be a building project, or just a cabin, not a year-round residence, then we may keep our house. How much money we have to work with depends on what we find.
Got any ideas, suggestions, contacts, advice for us? Is the area receptive to retirees in general? This took me all day, for low and behold, it is time to lock the door. Any help you may be able to offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanx very much.
I am Josie Mott, Adam Mott's wife and good friend of 40+ years.
2207 Parish La.
Frederick MD 21701
301-6209511, wk. 301-360814
Home e-mail is: asm11@earthlink.net
Posted by: Josie Mott | February 2, 2004 4:29 PM
This question of identity and how it is constructed and maintained has been rattling around in my brain since I read the chapter on it in The Mind of the Traveler. Thanks for giving me a topic to write about today, Fred. I don't know if I'll get the piece up. It's already 8 a.m., but I'm heading there.
Posted by: travelertrish | February 3, 2004 8:07 AM