Fragments From Floyd

Perhaps I flatter myself by assuming that not all of you out there get offers as I have, to become a Regional Distributor for a product called Col*nCleans*ng (I wouldn't want to have a, er, flood of Googlers coming here to Fragments to purchase the product just yet, hence the **s.) These people really want me bad, and are trying to get to me through all my email accounts. My resistance is weakening. I can't hold back the urge much longer.

Yes, I think my shi* may have just come in. Work from home. Provide a wonderful service. Make lots of money. This seems like a no-lose situation, what with this sales pitch straight from their persuasive email ...

• Cleansing your colon is a 30-day process. Its also very economical at $51.50, for all three products. You may be very surprised at some of the benefits you will receive besides just losing 1-5 lbs of cr*p from your body and brightening your future health.

I'm sure you've known writers who bussed tables, worked construction, or have done other kinds of lower-colonic income-producing work to support their writing. It impresses my sensibilities that producing an income-stream by being a rep for a col*n-flusher has a nice poetic symmetry. I may have found my niche in my new life.

I just wanted you to know, faithful readers. And, ah, it feels good to have gotten that out of my system. I feel 5 lbs lighter already!