October 03, 2003

Neighborhood Watch

Would the doofus or doofi who removed both front and rear license plates from our Subaru during the past twenty four hours please give it up. Come on, guys. This iddn't funny. We're gonna have to have them prettysoon.

"Yes sir, Mr. First" (the deputy's only fault was excessive use of the term "Mr." and secondly maybe a few verb tense issues) "I'll report this in all fifty states and your tags may show up real soon".

"Great" sez I, "I'll give it a few days before I go through the hassle and expense of getting replacements".

"Yes sir, Mr. First, I apologize for this but you cannot drive your car legally without license plates".

"Understood. But isn't stealing license plates also sort of against the law? Surely there is an allowance for this, a temporary tag or such, so that new plates aren't paid for and the old ones found the next day" I huffed. "We have to drive that car, it's a Friday and we won't be able to sit in line at the DMV for two happy hours".

"Yessir, well there used to be a temporary tag, but our governor's done changed all that. You will be ticketed, yessir."

And so, Bubba, you see we're kindly up a crick. So if you'd just drop those tags in the mailbox sometime today, we'd be grateful. It was fun, sort of exciting, but a joke's a joke, son. And would you please also leave those mounting screws. They're a little hard to find. Oh, and if you come back for the tires, you'll have to bring your own cinderblocks. And one more thing: I got me a bad dawg here. I thought you ought to know.

Posted by fred1st at October 3, 2003 06:35 AM | TrackBack
Comments

So, even in the quiet sanctuary of Goose Creek there are vermin. Pity. I had gotten the idea that Floyd was relatively crime-free. Since they would have to leave town to use the tags, you could inquire around and find who is moving away...I'm sure there is a story in there someplace.

Hope you recover them soon.

Posted by: David at October 3, 2003 06:52 AM

Ah, the agrarian fantasy fallacy: Crime is in bad neighborhoods in big cities. As a former reporter covering the small towns of southern Vermont, I can assure you that arson, burglary, incest and other forms of sexual abuse, and even murder is deep in the heart of the country. Which is why moving to a safer place is never the answer. There is no safe place. There is community, with community institutions, or there is not. Community is the only crime-stopper.

Posted by: travelertrish at October 3, 2003 10:06 AM

Well put!

My wife, Gretchen, had mentioned similar tales from her work in the more isolated towns in Northern California.

Now if we only had a simple test for community....

What did you find in your tour of Europe? Nice web site, by the way.

Posted by: David at October 5, 2003 03:08 AM

Fred,
Didja ever get 'em back???
--Rich

Posted by: Rich at October 10, 2003 11:37 PM

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