September 04, 2003

Not Lovin' It

MacDonalds has a face-lift underway, and you're gonna love it (or so the six million dollar jingle goes). It's not advertising, they say. Oh no. It arises from a desire to remake the experience of being in their facilities. Huh? That's not adverting?

We had the dubious pleasure of eating fast interstate food on our revent travels to NC last weekend, and I thank my lucky stars this All-American Pop Diet only happens to me maybe twice a year. For others, it is a daily fare, and you could pick out the 'regulars' from their pudding-faces at the front of the line. And not all got there in the family SUV, either.

Somewhere in my mental stereotypes file drawer-- in the folder that houses the image of a "young man and woman on a motorcycle"-- the young woman, riding behind, is svelte and tan, she used to work in a diner and her long blond hair is blowing in the wind (you know the one I'm talking about). That folder is being replaced, because now 95% of biker duos we saw last weekend were dunlops.. both he and she dunlopped over the sides of the poor motorcycle seat as the couples tour the MacDonalds of the south. I'm sorry but the corpulent adiposity of America always shocks and saddens me, and maybe moreso in highly stretched black leather at high speeds.

And the most amazing thing (and I think you'll agree this is a universal experience in this country of fast-fooders): in every Hardees, Wendys, and Burger King I've had the desperation to visit in the past three years, I've seen the same little shriveled-up white lady with frizzy once-blond hair under her spiffy baseball cap. She's always the fries specialist, and wears a tiny silver cross around her spindly neck. How does she get from one of these places to the next before we do? It makes one suspicious of either cloning, or teleporting, or both. You look next time you feel like you deserve a break today. She'll be there. Wait and see.

You know... I had the naivete when first reading this bit about the corporate make-over to think for a split second that the MacD image redo might have something to do with contrition about it's fat-sat foods and shameful marketing to young people. Nah. More of the same, shrink-wrapped in new fluff.

You want liposuction and a CABG with that?

Posted by fred1st at September 4, 2003 09:06 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Remember when going to McDonald's was a special treat? I can remember my grandparents taking us - I think we drove 15 or 20 minutes to get to one. I doubt it is even possible in most of the country to drive 15 minutes without seeing a McDonald's today.

I hate the place - but my kids are still in the happy meal age group so I get stuck eating there way too frequently.

Posted by: Chris at September 4, 2003 11:15 AM

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