August 30, 2003

Alpha Male ~ Pup Abuse

We had an rough-cut neighbor of ours years ago complain about somebody he knew wasn't takin' good care of their cows. Made him mad. Said he ortta by gawd call the SPCA. "The WHAT?" I asked. "The SPCA. Th' Special Police Cattle Association" he explained in utter seriousness.

I'm afraid Tsuga may be making a call soon to the Canine branch of this organization. I've noticed that he's been keeping notes, and I'm afraid it's not looking too good for the defense here.

Just yesterday for example: Our cat, CJ is suffering now through her third dog... breaking him in, so to speak. Or shredding him into ribbon thin wafers, Sylvester-like, would be a better analogy. She's trounced him good, boxed his ears, hissed fearfully... he is still infatuated and watches her admiringly as she walks ever so tauntingly by, in complete control and just daring him to get into her rather wide personal space. She hasn't fully connected claw to ear or tender little black nose yet, but it's coming, and you can bet the SPCA is gonna hear about it.

Puppy's exhibit B: Large appliances used as objects of distress. Let it be known that 1) the litigant did have his long pink tongue slightly singed on the stove door as a cookie tray was being retrieved (it should be known that it was emanating wafts of oatmeal and chocolate and alluring beyond the abilities of a juvenile to resist thus constituting entrapment). And 2) Also, on the same day, the defendant's head did become slightly compressed in the closing door of the refrigerator while he attempted, dutifully and responsibly, to clean off the crusty tops of the Heinz 57 and Ketchup bottles that had been knowingly placed in the lowermost rack of the door, again, the presence of same in this location constitutes a cruel and unusual temptation rendering the litigant, Tsuga of Goose Creek, an innocent party in this obvious infraction.

And, at present unbeknownst to the young pupster, today after a period of exactly two weeks of constant reinforcement that he is in a secure and nurturing environment and that he can be assured of the continuous presence or prompt return of his caregivers, he will be spirited off to what his Uncle Buster called "Puppy Camp" for 36 hours for such trivial reasons as the visitation of a daughter and granddaughter in North Carolina. This is obviously a case of willful and intentional abandonment, and yes he may have the olfactory time of his young life and have his fur rubbed off by the kind attendants, but he is still pressing charges.

The dossier continues to grow, and no doubt more will be said about this deplorable situation at a later date.

Alpha Male ~ Entries So Far
Posted by fred1st at August 30, 2003 06:44 AM | TrackBack

Nose singe - that's nothing. Shadow, as a kitten, crawled into the broiler while it was lit. I closed the broiler door, noticing that it was a little tough to get the tray to slide in. Fortunately, I thought to open the door and take a look - out popped a smoking cat (not actually on fire, but getting close). Shadow never did that again!

I need to have your cat come over and teach my dogs manners. All my cats grew up with old dogs that had been taught by another cat to respect felines. After 2 years with my present dogs, my cat haven't figured out that if they don't run, and put on a good hissing and swatting show, that the dogs probably won't chase them.

When the SPCA comes, just show them this comment to let them know how good your pup has it. On second thought, don't - they'll be at my door next :)

Posted by: bogie at August 30, 2003 07:51 AM

Love it!

Have you seen this new blog on typepad?


Posted by: feste at August 30, 2003 10:32 PM

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