July 18, 2003

The Shining

I was savoring that delicious surrender that comes when you finally slip in under cool sheets after rough day, finally relinguishing control, letting go the tensions of the day-- feeling stress flow out my toes and ears and fingertips. I settled down in the lilypads, floating towards sleep. Ann had been sleeping blissfully for at least an hour; the room was dark and still, with only the sound of the creek filling the room through the open windows.

But something made me come back up from under the lilypads. I can't say what-- maybe I had seen something below the level of consciousness before my eyes had grown accustomed to the dark and just at that moment realized I should be concerned about it, I don't know. But I sat up aware of some strangeness. Nothing out of the ordinary, except there was moonlight coming into the room. Now this is odd, I thought, since the moon won't be up for another couple of hours. And yet, there was a glow of pale dappled light falling across a small patch on my side of the bed. It appeared as if it was coming through trees, shining through the window behind me. Except that there was no window behind me. I returned immediately to full consciousness with overtones of uneasiness.

The mysterious light fell in just one place in the room, and when I moved the light moved with me. Granted I had just ended a zinger of a day, including at least three hours on the phone with Dell Tech Support. But my mind should have been clear even if exhausted, and this definitely was not a hallucination I was having. This was a real perception without an explanation. Until...

I turned on the closet light next to the bed and discovered the source of this mystery. The otherworldly light emanated from my underwear. Yep. Joe Boxer Smiley Face Glow in the Dark Boxer Shorts, a Happy Birthday present from Ann a few months back and I guess in cold winter bedtimes, there wasn't much opportunity for exposure between doffing drawers and pulling up covers. This was a sight only likely seen in the warmer months.

I had to wonder: what if I had come into the dark room last night, and Ann had opened her eyes just in time to see a disembodied pair of glowing underwear coming toward the bed? Guess if one of us was going to have a life-altering close encounter with phosphorescent skivvies, it was better me than her. I'm already in therapy for computer-related PTSD, we'll just add this little neurosis to the things I'm working through.

"Now, Mr. First. Just lie back and tell me how it was that you came to be afraid of boxer shorts".

Posted by fred1st at July 18, 2003 05:50 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Now my monitor has stuff all over it from laughing so forcefully!

Posted by: bogie at July 18, 2003 07:17 AM

Pictures! We want pictures! ;-)

Posted by: Rana at July 18, 2003 11:55 AM

Smiley face boxers... how cool! better than my "Sugar Daddy" dayglo red, yellow and orange? I'll show if you show... ;-)

Posted by: Dave at July 18, 2003 06:02 PM

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