May 03, 2003

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An unhappy update regarding our Homeland Defense:

I've been doing my homework about the carpenter bees, and I'm afraid I am losing this match after all. The chunky little beebombers I have been zinging with the tennis racquet have been the stingerless males, I have learned. The females have stingers, and they know how to use them. They live up in those 1/2 inch holes I just found in the fascia under the gutters above the roof of the addition... a sloping slick metal roof I might add. But no worries. The advisors say I can just go up in the dark when they are inactive (the bees, not the advisors) and poison the (up to 4') tunnels where they and their evil woodchewing brood live in the substance of my very home! Wait! I smell an ambush here. Fearsome Fred on a sloping metal roof in the dark with toxic substances and my fascia full of the Republican Guard of the Bee World waiting to catch me before I get back to the ladder. Been nice knowin' ya.

And, adding insult to (most certain future) injury: The phoebe defeated our first attempt to run her off, and made another cowpie on our lentel above the front door. So, ever resourceful, I fashioned a 2 x 4 on a slant to eliminate the flat nesting surface and prevent any more nestpoop deposits on our porch. So, I just discovered, in an act of avian defiance, she has moved over ... of all places... to our porch lamp to the side of the door and has slimed the very inhospitable conical top of it with her nest gradoo... which is to say "take that you big-headed hairy biped". And I'm sorry, pacifist bird fanciers, to tell you that there has been an escalation of force. The .22 is propped by the door, and loaded with hollow-points, and I am expecting later today a spectacular Roman-candle-like explosion of feathers as certain phoebegenes are instaneously eliminated from the gene pool. Nature red in tooth and claw, and we got the opposable thumbs and the 4-power rifle scopes. Life's not fair. Get over it.

But the carpenter ants do seem to be under control.

One out of three ain't bad, eh? Give me some encouragement here. The 'lower organisms' are getting the upper hand and I'm feeling like I slithered slowly into the shallow end of the gene pool.

Posted by fred1st at May 3, 2003 12:23 PM | TrackBack

this morning (for me anyway.. I'm not an early riser) around 11 I went out on my front porch and saw two lizards duking it out. so of course I had to run and get the camera. clash.jpg

when they came together and locked jaws there was a loud click that I could hear from about 6 feet away.
very interesting. I'm not an expert, but I think the on missing the tail won. the other went into some bushes a good distance away in a bit of a hurry.

have a good weekend!

Posted by: Jeremiah at May 3, 2003 02:21 PM

Pheobes are very hard to run off. We have had one nest on top of one of our backyard lights -the one located just above the greenhouse and outside our birdroom (go figure - she likes to be next to our screaching lory). Every once in a while we knock down the nest, but another one is built in the same place. She hasn't shown up yet this year, but it is early yet in this part of the country.

The sad part is, on the years we have left the nest alone, none of her eggs have ever hatched (and that is quite the yucky chore to clean up rotten eggs - that's what the Wonderful Spouse is for).

We do like to watch her antics as she chases down bugs though!

Posted by: bogie at May 4, 2003 05:18 AM

Fire away, my brother! You have sympathy in this far corner. Personally, I'd spend whatever it took to get a pro to take care of those damn bees, but you know your Terminix budget better than I do.

Posted by: Scott Chaffin at May 4, 2003 08:43 PM

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