April 18, 2003

Shedding, Sunning and Shaving

Today! Two signs of spring!

1) The winter constellations are failing; the days lengthen and the Summer Triangle rises in the evening sky; and I'm feeling the impulse to shave my beard. This is a true sign of spring. Actually, the seasonal urge and the doing of the deed typically happens thusly: Day X comes... a warm archetypal springtime day that says with certitude that cold weather has past. On Day X plus 4 or 5, with the babyface all bare and pink and chaffed from the unnatural and barbaric act of shaving (for the first time in months), a renegade Arctic cold front appears de novo and rages through wherever on the planet I am at the time, frigid wind against razor-raw chin and cheeks. If I postpone shaving for 4 or 5 days, it will still happen just this way, it doesn't matter. Yet another act in this seasonal drama is that Ann will, after a day or as many as three, notice that I somehow look different. Eventually it will dawn on her that the beard is missing. She will then giggle and tell me that without the beard I don't have a chin and look like Ferret Face... Frank Burns on M.A.S.H. Ha Ha.

2) The second sign of spring is the blooming of the co-eds on Tech campus today! Until today, one might as well have been in a Gulag workcamp full of sexless drones all rounded and shapeless in thick muffles of parkas and big fur hats. Here today arrived the glorious dehiscence of all outerwear... a spring phenomenon that I have not witnessed lo these many years away from college campuses. Shockingly, they didn't used to be so young under all those winter clothes, I discover.

Well yeah, I noticed. I'm not dead yet. I figure it's like the old fella in the restaurant business said when his wife caught him sneaking a peek at a younger woman: "Just because a fella's ordered don't mean he can't still look at the menu".

Now, if I go in here and shave off my silver beard, I'll look younger... maybe only a mere 30 years older than my current college classmates! And I do too have a chin.

Posted by fred1st at April 18, 2003 05:37 AM | TrackBack

speaking of college kids, i find it amusing to ask what year they were born, and then tell them what I was doing that year. this year the kids that work for me were born the year i met my wife. haha that's amusing i think.

Posted by: bud at April 18, 2003 04:11 PM

They've been half-naked at Carolina for a month or so now.

It truly is a wonderful world.

Posted by: bigwig at April 19, 2003 12:23 AM

Here's what gets me: when I card people at the restaurant, they're legal if they were born the year AFTER I graduated from college.

How is that POSSIBLE???

Posted by: Pascale Soleil at April 19, 2003 11:44 AM

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