January 13, 2003

The Next Nintendo War

Well let's see here. It's morning again, and I sit down at the computer to reconnect with the larger world. First visit: the NEWS. See if the world still has all its fingers and toes. Are there as many countries out there today as there were last night when I went to sleep? These mornings when I tune in, I realize that the answer could well be NO. Nations might disappear overnight. And not just geopolitical entities. Nations of people. But not really people. Enemies. And that's good. Right?

I have a few problems as I try to get my head in the mood for war. First of all, I don't think we are ready to go to war with a nation until we agree on what that nation is called. Regarding the turning of desert into a sea of glass: are we hoping to do that to EYE rak, EEE rak, EYE rok or EEE rok? And not only that, hadn't we better be thinking about what we are going to call those faceless impersonal 'evil ones'? Got to have a collective name for them. Already taken: Gooks, Gerrys, Krauts ... Without a name like this, we might be distracted by thoughts of the human scale of war, when as we all know, it is really just a giant Nintendo Game. Green flashes of light on the distant horizon and some really nice graphic effects in those neat tracer thingies. Great subwoofer thudding sounds, too. I hope this time we can get a window across the bottom of the screen to let all of us keep score at home. It's exciting to know, no matter what the score, we're going to win!

But what's this? There must be some mistake. I don't think this the same Desert Storm Game that we watched on our CNN gameboxes in 1991. Goodness me. That's not at all pleasant.

Well. I am certain that in this next War Game episode, mandatory Parental Protection will be in place once again so the Mortal Combat will be sanitary and we won't have to be exposed to this kind of graphic violence in our homes. Its disturbing and intrusive and Americans should be protected from it. Yeah!

Posted by fred1st at January 13, 2003 07:14 AM | TrackBack
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