December 18, 2002

Curiosity Killed the Cow

And you sheltered city folk think that country living is so buccolic and pastoral, standing around listening to the grass grow, chewing your cud and such.
Image copyright 2CkFarm

Well, you can see here there are perils at every turn. Those old school buses they park in the back pasture: they're Death Traps! And not a single warning label on them anywhere about putting your head through the broken door, about the terrible risk of entrapment.

Each year hundreds of cows, just like this one, are enticed to take just one peak inside the faded yellow carcasses of county school busses, and then left with terrible physical and psychological scars. Oh, Sally Struthers, where are you when we need you! Save the Cows! it today (bites quivering lip).

Nah. Put your checkbooks up. This cow, spotted in a pasture near Two Creek Farms (home to a multitude of Tennessee Fainting Goats) survived this ordeal requiring nothing more than a vet to lift the heavy metal door off the beast's neck. Counseling for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has been recommended, but those ruminants are really resistant to revealing their inner selves. Cows are mostly just stomachs inside, anyway, really; nothing actually going on in there, in spite of their outward appearance as cunning and acutely aware sentient higher life forms.

Fainting goats? I guess it's true. Bummer of a genetic legacy. Can you imagine the glee of a wolf spotting a herd of these in the wild!? It would be like sitting down with a fresh Whitman's, let's see: I think I'll have the big fat black one there, just wait a minute til he keels over.

We may just have to wander over to Two Creeks and check this out. Thanks, Dixie, for permission to use the picture. By the way, she found Fragments via the "Floyd County UFO" helicopter story of several weeks ago. She had a close encounter with it, and at least had the advantage of knowing what da heck it was, having read of my ordeal.

Posted by fred1st at December 18, 2002 05:46 AM

Hey, Fred!
You never did come over to check out my Fainters. Kidding season is almost at an end and there are 30+ kids running all over the place. The Great Pyrenees dogs are quite satisfactory in keeping the wolves at bay, along with the elephants, water buffalo and hippos! Haven't seen any of those either.
Give me a holler; I'm off work the week of Memorial Day.

Floyd, VA

Posted by: Dixie L. Moore at May 24, 2004 09:29 AM

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