July 19, 2002

Friday: State of the

Friday: State of the WhyBlog Address

In keeping with the recent theme of umbilical-centered musings, once again we are examining the ground underneath our size 12's, attempting to look back into the eye that examines all but itself, seeking to enter the mind (assumed present) behind Fragments. In typical dispassionate analytical fashion, we shall look at the facts but move quickly on to the unwarranted conclusions...

Duration: about three months since starting Fragments from Floyd. At the time it began, I really had no idea why I needed a blog, or what I would write about. Now, 100 days later, I have no idea why I needed a blog, or what I will write about. This shows stability, perserverance, and a high tolerance for boredom and ambiguity of purpose...important traits in a blogger of the 'lower forms of life' in the Blogosphere, such as the staff and production crew at Fragments.

Style: After considerable mucking about with fonts, backgrounds, and layout, we at Fragments continue to muck about with same. Failing to hear user comments pro or con, we feel free to use chartreuse text on fushia table cells, knowing that permanent night-sweats may result. Hey, you no speak, we no freak. And of course, being timid of heart, while all other successful bloggers have migrated to Moveable Type on dedicated, commercial servers, I continue to 'save money' by shoe-horning our content into a department-store template which is unavailable on Blogger.com most of time, but as my momma taught me, 'for free, take; for buy, waste time'.

Content: How should we describe these pages with proper mock-humility and feigned reticence: I would say that the dust-cover to Fragments would call us "a place where Euell Gibbons meets Uncle Remus". That should be provacatively ambiguous enough to score some visitors, eh? Our statisticians tell us that our average reader stays pouring over a single page load for a luxurious 3 minutes 13 seconds! If you remove multiple daily page loads by the staff of Fragments, that reader-dwell-time is reduced to 0 minutes 35 seconds. Since the projected read time for a typical Fragments entry is 4 minutes, 24 seconds, we have concluded that our faithful readers do consistently read the first 6 lines before clicking over to Meryl or Bigwig or *.pundit. Not bad, really. We are considering a retro-modification to our archives, removing all but the first 6 lines of each entry in Fragments, with the concensus among our staff that no one will notice the changes. One does have to be adaptable to the reading habits of ones readership.

Success: Of course, this can mean only one thing: page loads/unique visitors. (I should mention that the text 'snake-headed fish' from last week has brought unprecedented popularity to our log, and we are thinking of having a repeat episode next week, perhaps changing the text to whatever is at the top of DayPop.) I have just heard the terrible news that poor Meryl Yourish temporarily LOST 200 visitors during her recent move. Poor child, how awful. Get a life, woman! Pardon me, I lost my train of thought. We here at Fragments are not so petty as to base our achievements on such pedestrian measures as "visitors per day". If we were, the mere 20-30 visits each day for the grueling 15 minutes of random association put into these rare tales of slugs and zucchini would be most discouraging. No, it is the QUALITY of our small band of faithful visitors that is the fuel for our persistent efforts. Especially, we would like to thank 195.145.23.*, txucom.net, and aol.com for your faithfulness, but more than that, for just being yourselves, whoever you are.

Plans for the future: As previously mentioned, we are redesigning our format to a 6-line entry length. There will be perhaps 20-30 entries daily (keep those WebLogs.com hits coming in), with more plegarism, er linking to people with real weblogs where extremely controversial politically-volatile topics are discussed. This is anticipated to increase our Commenting Frequency, presently at 1 per 20 entries. We have found that our readers don't have opinions to share on topics such as the Music of the Spheres or the state of Fred's digestion. In addition, expect at least half our entries to heap praise on one or more bloggers at the 'top of the food chain', in shameless pimping for Fragments. Darwinian forces are at work here, folks. To resist is futile.

Thanks: A sincere and unsarcastic thank you to such that end up here ON PURPOSE, and even recurrent over the course of a week (that would be YOU, Mom). The foolish farmer of Floyd will continue to air these fractured fairy tales and hope that you walk away with something of value in those first 6 lines. If not, then you can just walk away from Fragments shaking your head, thinking...."there but for the grace of God..."

Posted by fred1st at July 19, 2002 07:23 AM
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